Keep the fire..Fan it daily with time in God's presence.

& bad. Laying down makes it better but if i cough, it feels like im stabbing myself. Its really painful.

& I have this really sharp pain and my dad thinks that it might be my appendix..pray that it isnt :/ i cant go sleep cause of how much it hurts. Its really

I feel like throwing up.

? go away from this. I want to leave now and quick. Lord please give me the strength to stand firm in you. I cant think straight anymore.

? I dont even know what to think anymore. I want to tell someone but i cant cause i dont want to lose the other persons trust. I want to be free. I want to

My birthday is in 6 days. Im really excited for it :) but not at the same time, if that even makes sense? Im not sure..but yeah.lol

Dear Jesus,
I was wondering if you could just really provide for me to get that nikon camera that i really want. :) or whatever you want for me, its fine.

I had such an awesome day today. Gods really blessing me so much. Thank you Jesus<3 for all of my friends, old and new. For gisselle, katy, and pipo<3 thank you

Lord please provide for the camera that i want to get lord. If its not in your will that i get one, than please take the want to have one away from me.

Lord please help my brother find his glasses. We cant afford to buy him another pair.

open and unbroken

i kind of miss just letting it all out on here. where no one really knows who i am and i can say whatever i want without being criticized for it or told something. sometimes, i dont need someone to tell me anything, i just need someone who will listen and wont say anything back. im going to start sharing how i feel on here from now on and not alot on tumblr. i miss being vulnerable in my writing.

I am tumblr deprived..

he won too many battles because i was voluntarily blindfolded.

i kept on falling off the edge; holding onto something more thats was never really there. it was all a facade, all a dream from the one who loathes my very existence. i let him win many times, to the point where i forgot about his enemy who loves me, for 5 years of my life. he won too many battles because i was voluntarily blindfolded. 

one year ago exactly, i walked blindfolded into Jesus’s arms, listening to his directions. “go left, go right, go left, you’re here.” he took the blindfolds off and put his hands over my face. i tried to open them but the light burned my eyes. all my eyes knew was darkness and all i did was hide from everything. months later, now i can see without his hands over my eyes to shade me from the light because now..i am part of the light. I am His treasure, his child and children are born to shine. im shining. i am free.

U rly, God gives us knowledge to tell the difference. He gives us clarity. We need Jesus to live, to prosper; we have to stop taking off our glasses.

U ll wrong from right because we're blinded by the enemy. And when we find out is when its too late, we've already contaminated ourselves with sin. And its

U ing to me: that also applies to our spiritual lives. Without my glasses, i cant tell an orange from a mango, a raisin from a bug. And in order for me to

U know what it is, i have to touch it, i have to feel it. And thats just like our spiritual life. When we Don't have god and we're in the world, we cant te

U ing to me: that also applies to our spiritual lives. Without my glasses, i cant tell an orange from a mango, a raisin from a bug. And in order for me to

U I took off my glasses, and i told my cousin, "giss, did you know i cant see my hand in front of my face without my glasses." And then god revealed someth

I made peach cobbler and everyone ate it so fast, they all loved it(: purty good. I made it from scratch too. Ive always been good at baking, when i was little, i wanted to be a professional pastry chef, with my own bakery :') but journalism is betterrrrr! Lol. Im getting a nikon SLR camera with my birthday money :3 and im taking my cousins wedding pictures with them, im so excited. im so excited for my future<33

Michael Buble is so dreamyy.

love is like a hurricane

“loves like a hurricane, i am a tree, bending beneath the weight of his winds and mercy.” 

Dear Jesus, 

Today i confronted the person who has hurt me the most..she still doesnt realize how much she hurt me. i went to talk to her and i could feel the bruises re-surfacing, the wounds re-opening, my ribs becoming broken again inside me. i felt as if confronting her was the hardest thing i could ever do. i could feel anger and hate on my tongue again. it was in my saliva. i held back my tongue and swallowed. i looked at her and i said it. i told her how i didnt want to live with someone who only had bad intentions and wanted to hurt me. she called me an idiot. i asked her if she knew why i didnt like her, and she said that she regretted my existence. that was when i knew that i could flip it around, to bring YOU glory. i told her that you had a purpose for my existence, i told her that i was made for good, that you have a purpose for me. i couldnt have said anything better to make my point. she called me stupid and said that she didnt want to talk to me anymore. she went into her room and slammed her door. i felt like all my strength had drained out of me. i turned the argument around and put her in her place by stating the truth. i didnt curse, or say things that i had meditated on saying to her. i know you have a purpose for this god, im going to keep walking. even when i lose strength, ill look unto you and ill find my strength in you. i love you jesus, and thank you for loving such a person as me. you are my jehovah-nissi, the lord my banner<3 i love you.

love, 

your little solider<3

Why do i always tend to become "best friends" with the worst types of people. They backstab me and they say they're sorry and i go back to being their friend again. Why is that? I try to be so nice that people walk all over me. I need to stop this chaos.

Im at school and im all alone. Everyone left since today is officially the last day of school. Im texting people who take forever to reply and i have no food to fill my empty stomach. Its hot, too. im not trying to complain, Im just so hungry and tired. Last day of school is tommorow. Not alot of people are going to be here. Praise the Lord for half days.

I made up this song/poem. Im not going through boy troubles, i just got inspired by something and wrote it out into words(:
Its called, "if i had written you a song."
By: Jeanine Marie

Sometimes i wonder
what i wouldve said,
if i had written you a song.
What words could i use to
describe what we had

I got caught in your words,
your lies, i believed.
I was mezmorized by you
Your words, tied me, bound me to you
And now im here, feeling dumb for thinking i fell in love

You thought you were sly
I wouldnt have told you any better
I think i made myself quite clear,
The first time.
You aint got no second chances, this aint the lotto.
This is the real deal.
Sealed with regrets and remorse,
Good bye my old love,
Forever.
P.s: ive written you this song to describe what we once had together.

I need money to do anything..man, i hate my city.

you are my rescue<3

Your the God of second chances,
Your the God that still romances.
We will bow before you now,
Singing halelujah<3

I hate the fact that everyone that was once close to me is in a relationship. They used to be there and now, theyve forgotten all about me and focused on their partner. And when all goes bad, they come back to me like as if they never forgot about me. I hate being the convenient friend. Ugh.

I cant fall asleep, and i oh so deeply want to. I have so many things on my mind. Im just so fed-up with everything. I dont care anymore. I give it up to you God, i dont want this headache. I give it up to you. Take it away from me<3

God is love

amor cambia la gente<3

amor cambia la gente<3

I think its easier to talk to other peoples younger siblings to not do anything bad, than it is to your own. My little brother got two detentions, and he didnt say anything about it. Im always telling him little things, here and there. Hes a smart kid, he really is. Even though he rolls his eyes, i know hes listening. Hes listening undercover, he ignores me in my face, but at the same time, hes recording every word that im saying for future uses. He stores the wisdom for later.
He always knows what to do when hes under pressure. Ive always been more mature than my age suggests. I hope steven stays a kid longer, i pray he does.