I made up this song/poem. Im not going through boy troubles, i just got inspired by something and wrote it out into words(:
Its called, "if i had written you a song."
By: Jeanine Marie

Sometimes i wonder
what i wouldve said,
if i had written you a song.
What words could i use to
describe what we had

I got caught in your words,
your lies, i believed.
I was mezmorized by you
Your words, tied me, bound me to you
And now im here, feeling dumb for thinking i fell in love

You thought you were sly
I wouldnt have told you any better
I think i made myself quite clear,
The first time.
You aint got no second chances, this aint the lotto.
This is the real deal.
Sealed with regrets and remorse,
Good bye my old love,
Forever.
P.s: ive written you this song to describe what we once had together.

I need money to do anything..man, i hate my city.

you are my rescue<3

Your the God of second chances,
Your the God that still romances.
We will bow before you now,
Singing halelujah<3

I hate the fact that everyone that was once close to me is in a relationship. They used to be there and now, theyve forgotten all about me and focused on their partner. And when all goes bad, they come back to me like as if they never forgot about me. I hate being the convenient friend. Ugh.

I cant fall asleep, and i oh so deeply want to. I have so many things on my mind. Im just so fed-up with everything. I dont care anymore. I give it up to you God, i dont want this headache. I give it up to you. Take it away from me<3

God is love

amor cambia la gente<3

amor cambia la gente<3

I think its easier to talk to other peoples younger siblings to not do anything bad, than it is to your own. My little brother got two detentions, and he didnt say anything about it. Im always telling him little things, here and there. Hes a smart kid, he really is. Even though he rolls his eyes, i know hes listening. Hes listening undercover, he ignores me in my face, but at the same time, hes recording every word that im saying for future uses. He stores the wisdom for later.
He always knows what to do when hes under pressure. Ive always been more mature than my age suggests. I hope steven stays a kid longer, i pray he does.

I want to watch Toy Story 3 :DD favorite movie ever, and theyre making a new one! :D yay!

I want to watch Toy Story 3 :DD favorite movie ever, and theyre making a new one! :D yay!

"If you cant handle me at my worst, then you dont deserve me at my best." -Marilyn Monroe

Sometimes its good to lose touch with people. You learn who your friends are, and who your friends arent.

Im super bored and im alone here in the office. Id like to go home now :[

So, i found out why i only vomit in the morning and why my throats been hurting. I have acid reflux. Amazing. Its because i dont eat enough..who knew? Im not even skinny, and i dont eat alot.

Jesus told me this a couple of months ago, i never posted it until now. its been saved.

I dont know what to say. You seem to be saying everything. I cant put a word in. You dont even stop and breathe when you talk. Your always talking. You need to stop and breathe for a while, no talking. I want to open your eyes to so many wonderful things but your not letting me. Your not listening, i want you to listen. I dont want you to listen to yourself speak, i want you to listen to me. Listen to the words that are traveling from my heart and my mind to in-turn trasmit vocally to soothe your ears, which i gave you to hear. Listen jeanine. Listen to me. Im screaming in your ear and your not listening. Youve blocked your ear from listening to what i have to tell you. Open them, your heart, your mind. open yourself to me. I have wonders that id like to share with you. Open! Open! Open! I love you, i died for you. All that i ask is that you listen. Dont speak, listen. You are mine, and i am yours. listen

"I dont want to gain the world and lose my soul." -Kirk Franklin

I just saw some girl wearing pants, and knee-high boots. Its 96 degrees, woman. Im wearing school shirt, shorts, crocs and a thin cardigan and i feel like im melting in this miami heat. I want to go in the pool :/

Gossip is never good. He said, she said are never right. God doesnt like gossip, so why do people do it? Im not going to lie. I fall into conversations that are purely gossip sometimes. I am going to make an effort to stop gossiping for good.

proverbs 26:22-
The words of a whisperer are like delicious morsels; they go down into a mans inmost parts.

I cant believe you admitted to doing what you did. I Don't think i could ever see you the same. Thats if, you even come out of holding. You were sentenced without bond. -sigh- well, enjoy the consequence of your action. I heard it makes people crazy. Hopefully, you'll repent and draw near to the Lord. Prison ain't fun, i could tell you that much.

Arrivederla,
Jeanine.

is this the end of blogging?

I think im going to stop writing in my blog.
its become something more than a hobby.
ive been leaning on writing as an escape, and i havent been going to God with my problems.
writing makes me smile, it makes everything all right.
but ive come to the conclusion that im only opening myself to the world.
the world doesnt need to read my soul on a blog.
im going to start a journalism blog, not sure the name yet.
all i know, is that im planning on making this the last post about my feelings.

sorry anonymous readers,
Jeanine.

all the parts that you keep secret, the parts that you want to change about yourself. They make you who you are.
Deny, who you are, and your nothing.
Break down those walls and accept your circumstances.

When I was around 8, my mom chased me around the house with a bat. She was screaming, "Your dad loves you more than he loves me! I hate you! I hate you!" I had run all around the house and she cornered me in my closet, I was kneeling next to my old green iron chair screaming and crying begging her not to hit me. my dad had just gotten home and he heard us screaming and he ran to my room. He grabbed my moms arm and stopped her. She told my dad, "you love her more than me! That's not fair." And she walked to her room and slammed the door. My dad peeked in the closet and told me that it was going to be okay. I never forgot that day.

unrequited.

I want to hear your voice. I want to hear you answer my question:
Why do you keep chasing after me? You keep re-appearing when I thought you were all gone. i really dont want to start liking you again. i didn't even know how i started to in the first place. we're so different. Feelings start to float to the top, but I stop you from coming any closer and the feelings start to sink down again. eventually, they'll disappear.Your just no good.Your trouble, and quite frankly, i dont need anymore trouble in my life. I don't mean to sound cocky. I really don't. You have to realize, The chase shouldve been over; its long overdue. you dont need me, as badly as you say you do. the feeling is unrequited.

Give me the words to say.

The world is not sin-free. It comes with sin-fat and all that bitter-sugar attached. The world tastes good, but then the pounds start packin'. Packin' bad stuff. Cellulite included, free of charge.
The world wants to consume people. It wants the world be full of screwed up individuals. The world ruins friendships and etc.
Sin separates man from God.
We are to be more like him, not ourselves.

Ugh..I'm still so annoyed by the whole event. Stupid TV.

Lord what has become of this world. Even the churches are corrupt. Sin is so deceiving that its taking over and ruining people. I feel like people are forgetting who you are. They are losing grips with you. Lord I pray for kiki. I pray that you will show him grace and mercy! I don't know if he really did what I read. It was too unbearable for me to even imagine. He has a girlfriend, he was the director of the worship, he had so many wonderful things. Why would he do that?! I just can't process it. I knew this person. Its not just some random guy on the news being convicted. Its different now that I actually know the person in the mug shot on the screen. Because of his actions, he lost whatever respect he had, he lost friends, and more. The only thing he didn't lose was you. You were with him when he did it. You were there watching, telling him not to. But his flesh overcame. I'm so shocked. Its so sad..

Made my day, it truly did<3 love you prima!
"I completely get you. evrryody has their menta where they just feel very overwhelmed and stressseddd.and it really dosnt help when ppl come to u for help to fix their problems when u hardly even know how to fix ur own. just know that u have ppl who reallly care about u and love u and are here for u. No matter how shattered u feel..never lose ur hope.that small spec of it that u have left is what's going to keep u going.neverrrrrrr stop smiling.neverr stop being joyous.that's what takes u to new levels.when ur able to over come things by looking on the bright side by having a genuine smile on ur face knowing that the love of god is what's pulling u through.now there's always a time to cry.never hold back ur feelings and ur tears.that's wayyyy too hard and only brings up pain.just rest in the lord and enjoy urself. I love you more than you know(:"

love changes people.

The whole world revolves around love.
the need for love, the want for love etc.
love is what ties everything together.

many people in this world believe that love can only be felt.
but love can be seen, spoken, shouted, read, written, and more.
love defies gravity,
love defies all known laws,
love is a subject, all in its own.

the void of love is what drives people to find it elsewhere.
thats where problems arouse.
the empty spaces in the soul, where love never resided, is finding a filler.
people try and find it in people, friends, jobs, hobbies, etc.
but do the truly find everlasting love? no, they dont.
the space just gets deeper and deeper.
scars start healing and breaking over and over.

it wasn't until i came back to God that he started showing me that loving someone was okay.

just because you got hurt once doesnt mean that your heart looses the capability to love again.

the true source of love is hidden in plain sight! some people just ignore the truth.
well, what truth Jeanine?
GOD IS LOVE.
he is the creator of that great thing called love.
but his love is like no other.
his love is all you really need.
it resides in your soul...forever.

you just have to ask God.
as simple as that.

You can change the world, with your hands behind your back. All you have to do is give it your all and don't step back when it seems likes its starting to unravel.

I love you and I want you to be happy. That's all I want.

Well, today was quite exciting.
It was around 7:05 am. When I decided to clean my ears.
I used q-tips. Its basically the only way I was ever taught to clean my ears. I ended up shoving the q-tip too inside my ear. I ended up pushing all the ear wax further inside. Thus, my ears started bleeding. I currently haven't been able to hear from my right ear all day. Chewing was like a mini drum concert in my ears. I ate at around 12, because for some reason, I thought I couldn't eat. To cut this story short, I got some medication for my ear and ill be good as new in no time! :)

"Hey, hey rambo."
"Hey, hey pancake with extra syrup and whipped cream."
"Hey, hey cupcake with buttercream i-icing."
"Hey hey you. Hey hey house in toilet."
"How do ya do?"

-conversation with my grandpa and steven- rofl. Made no sense, but made me laugh.

Oh,I've also noticed that what you call your friends aren't really friends. I've been so blind that other people have to make it obvious for me. Why can't everyone be innocent and loving? What ever happened to morals? they've been swallowed into non-existence. That's what happened. We all have freedom of speech to say and print what we please. But what's the point of saying something that didn't come out of your own soul?
You can stand behind the 5th ammendment and defend your cause. It doesn't mean that your reasons are right. Two lefts don't make a right.
Just remember, the lead always gets caught.
I'm pretty much sick of fake people.
People with substance are worth more than watered down copies. Something to think about.