Id be lying if i said that i didnt want to. but i wouldnt dare reveal something thats been hidden for so long.Expose this little secret thats similar to a candy coated, chocolate sprinkled rotten apple. It seems natural to be so inclined to take a whiff. Its presented so nice and appetizing, take one bite and your caught. chained to that forever. secretly, of course. If nothings said, then nothing changes. If nothing happens, then its perfect. lying to yourself is much easier than the other way around.
the secret? its not bad, really. Its quite nice, this little secret. how it eats me up, and whispers to the flesh. Its so inviting, ''stir it up, stay concentrated in it." it says to me. but no, I hold it in, like you would bitter medicine. Stubborn is the word. i cant spit it out cause i know that if i break free the seal, it will take a loving mastermind to close it. a loving God to bend down and clean up my mess.
Finally, i give up.
im here breathless, more tired than before..asking him to take it all and come back to me.
The warm hug thats received after i've let go of it all. It makes the wounds and holes coincide together. become whole.
I made my heart available. It didnt automatically carve itself inside out. no, thats God's job.
he inhales everything hidden in the countless niches of my soul and spits it out into the ocean. Released forever;to roam the ocean currents, alone. away from my soul that only has room for one. Sometimes, i look back and wonder was it worth it? really, was all that really worth everything i lost in the process? The friends, the relationship with my first love, God.
In true sincerity, NOTHING can compare to this abundant and unfailing love.
nothing should come before him and nothing ever will.
he is my rock.
i dont know why i didnt do it sooner. i dont remember why i always pushed it aside.
I really dont recall.
he knows all my secrets and everything i speak of in silent.
he sees me when i cheat on a test, he sees me when i lie to a teacher, he sees me.
everyday of every minute. hes never to busy to watch over the ones he loves.
he wanted to hear my cry; he inclined his ear and he heard. he answered.
what a beautiful god.
he makes me smile<3>
All those old thoughts and old ways, they arent going to suck me up like the rest of my generation.
No. I am stronger.
Yo no soy del papa de los mentirosos!
With him by my side, whom shall i be afraid?
Jeanine.
You just took my breathe away, and left me gasping; drooling even!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete